theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
