But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
