girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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