Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
organizing the empties. That sober.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
