Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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