That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
