More tranny stories later!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
