guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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