I'm sorry my penis didn't work
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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