My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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