we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
