OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
