Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
