youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
