i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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