drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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