We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
