He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
