My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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