I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
