I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
