You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just fell off a train. Bad.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize