I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
