He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
