Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
