So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
