oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
