So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
