Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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