Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
