Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize