I got chris browned last night
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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