Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
