Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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