I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize