dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
