so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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