that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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