why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
