Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
