Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
