Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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