i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
