Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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