is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
