i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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