I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
