You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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