'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just high enough for therapy.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
