Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
