Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
That's when you crack a 10am beer
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
