Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
