just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
