White coat. Heels.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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