I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
