Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
