I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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